shade. like under a tree...

Imagine that you meet a man. A creepy man who incessantly hits on you. His name is Shade (really) and he says ultra creepy things like "I feel you girl. I feel you feelin' me." You continue to ignore him, but he insists on telling how beautiful you are and gives you his card to power wash your house. He says he'll give you a great deal and that if you were his girl he'd give you his whole paycheck; that he can "afford you".

You tell your brother and husband this story and in turn, they tell your friend. Finding this hilarious and knowing your sense of humor, your friend sends you flowers. To your house. From Shade. You husband freaks, thinks he's followed you home.  You call your brother in a panic, maybe he sent you the flowers as a joke, or maybe, just maybe, Shade really did follow you home and next thing you know you're calling the cops and unlisting your phone number. 

This is a totally true story. About a man my friend Christy met and yes, his name really was Shade ("like under a tree", he said) That friend who knew her wicked sense of humor and sent her a bouquet of the cheesiest flowers she could order? That was me. 

Shade has since become a bit of a joke amongst my friends. We tell our husbands "Well why not? Shade can afford me" and say "I feel you feelin' me" to one another about a dozen times when talk. He even has his own fan club on Facebook; a private group for our friends to meet and talk about inside jokes and stuff we want to share. I'm 99% sure that Shade will be with us for a long time, showing up at the birth of children, birthdays and holidays. After all, he's a true ladies man. 

Josh was supposed to deploy a certain day, but the Army being the Army, it was moved again and again. After running last minute errands and having lunch, we came home to find a box of flowers on the doorstep (can you see where this is going?). I was ecstatic! My husband sent me flowers, expecting me to have received them after he left. I squealed all the way into the house about how sweet he was. He on the other hand, couldn't wipe the smirk off of his face.

I opened the box to find two dozen beautiful roses. What a treat! There was more glee and hugs and kisses. He just laughed and asked "Where is the card?" The card? My imagination ran wild about all the sweet things he would've prompted the kind flower people to write. There were tears in my eyes. 

I tore open the card, which is now framed in my room, to find this:

I laughed until it hurt, and cried more. My friend Christy is a gem of a friend. That rare gal that just "gets me" and even in my saddest, darkest moments, can make me laugh through my tears. She had asked my husband for our address, all to send me the silliest and sweetest gift imaginable to make me smile on one of the saddest days of my life. It's something I'll never forget and every time I glance at that card, I have to call her up and tell her how much I can "feel her feelin' me and my sad sorrow". 

Friends like her are the silver lining in crappy situations like a deployment. The flowers have since wilted, but the laughter remains. Some days I just feel so blessed by the people around me. Thanks friend, I can afford you too! 

I hope you had a little laugh, see you all tomorrow for a very special day! xo.


vintagewithatwist said...

omigosh. that is too funny! Shade, like under a tree. hahaha!
how sweet of her! you guys are hilarious

Erin said...

what a great story. haha

Hearthandmade said...

awh! It creeped me out loads to begin with lol but then i read on!! You def need friends like that! xo

RedDirtRevival said...

LMAO!!!!! Oh my ggaawwwddd I'm dying. That's hilarious, Rox! Friends like that are the best.

Sian said...

Genius, lol

Christy said...

I'm so behind on reading! Alex (my 9yo daughter) recently found the card to me from "Shade" and was very curious who it was from. She did not approve lol